Mediation is a well established process for resolving disagreements in which an impartial third party (the mediator) helps people in dispute to find a mutually acceptable resolution.
Mediation is based on the following principles:
Collaborative problem solving between those in dispute, reaching a 'win/win' situation which is acceptable to all.
A focus on the future, with emphasis on rebuilding relationships rather than apportioning blame for what has happened in the past.
A belief that acknowledging feelings as well as facts allows participants to let go of their anger and upset and move forward.
The structure and common-sense approach of mediation:
gives those involved an opportunity to step back and think about how they could put the situation right. This can mean looking at their own behaviour as well as that of other people.
enables participants to come up with their own practical solution which will benefit all sides.
allows people to rebuild relationships as they work together to find an agreement. This is different to the legal process, where hostility often still exists between parties once the case is over.
Mediation is generally more cost effective and quicker than going to court, and is a flexible process that can be used to settle disputes in a whole range of situations.
It is also an excellent preventative tool and can be used effectively to stop problems escalating and becoming worse.
Do I need mediation?
Many disagreements can be settled without going to mediation if there is still some communication between you, and there is no threat of physical violence. Below are some tips for re-establishing relations with someone you have fallen out with.
If possible, try to deal directly with the person you are in dispute with. It is not helpful if your grievance is overheard or passed on by someone else, as this can be misinterpreted and make matters worse.
Plan a sensible time and a private place to talk to the other person, when you are able to be more rational about the situation. Let the other party know you are glad to have the opportunity to resolve the situation.
Think carefully beforehand about what you want to say. It is best to be quite clear about what the problem is.
Don't accuse, insult or blame - no matter how you feel about the situation. It will not help and is far more likely to make things worse.
Don't make assumptions about the person's past behaviour or actions. You may be wrong about the reasons for their behaviour.
Do give the other person a chance to express their views and feelings. It is essential to let them know you are listening, even if you don't agree.
Bring all the issues out into the open and spend time discussing how they can be resolved.
Work on the problems co-operatively, bearing in mind that the final solution should satisfy both of you.
Agree to meet each other on future dates to check on how things are going.
How can mediation help?
Mediation works because:
it allows people to be heard. In many cases, a simple apology from either or both sides is all that is required to put the situation right.
it is an empowering process that encourages people to put forward their own suggestions and ideas.
it is less intimidating than legal procedures, and people represent themselves rather than having someone speak for them.
it provides solutions that the parties themselves have decided on, giving them all a sense of ownership of any agreement. As a result, agreements reached in this way last much better than solutions handed down by courts or an arbitrator.
it can be organised quickly. When disagreements are not addressed, they can escalate. Mediation is easy to arrange and can be completed within weeks.
it is usually affordable by all. Most neighbour mediation is free to those who want to use it, and many other forms of community mediation are available at a reasonable rate.
Moving the situation on
By giving everyone the opportunity to explain their side of the story, and to talk without being interrupted, mediation can be very helpful when a situation is stuck.
It is not an 'easy option' - when people are honest and are encouraged to say what they feel, the situation can provoke strong emotions - but once people have had a chance to express their feelings, they are more likely to let their hostility go.
What happens in a mediation?
Mediation is a flexible process that is used in a number of different situations. In most types of mediation, the following steps take place:
If one person asks for mediation, all those involved are contacted to check they agree to take part. Anyone can withdraw at any stage if they want to.
Everyone involved is then visited individually by mediators. The mediators will ask each of them to explain how they see the current situation, and how they would like it to be in the future. They will also ask what suggestions the parties have for sorting out the disagreement.
Information shared during the mediation is private and confidential (with the exception of disclosure of serious abuse) unless otherwise agreed.
If both parties agree to come to a joint meeting, the following steps take place:
Mediators will explain the structure of the meeting and ask everyone to agree to some basic rules, such as listening without interrupting and not using offensive remarks.
Each person will then have a chance to talk about the problem as it affects him or her. The mediators will try to make sure that everyone understands what each person has said, and allow them to respond.
They will then help both parties identify the issues that need to be sorted out. Very often this leads to solutions that no one had thought of before, helping parties to reach an agreement.
The agreement is usually written down, and signed by both parties and the mediators. However, it is not legally binding and cannot be enforced in court unless the parties decide to make it a legal contract. The agreement does not affect anyone's legal rights either, allowing the freedom to find another way of dealing with the dispute at any time.
What is the role of the mediator?
In forms of mediation, they usually work alone. Whatever the context, the role of the mediator is based on the following principles:
Mediators help people identify their needs, clarify issues, explore solutions and negotiate their own agreement.
Mediators do not advise those in dispute, but help people to communicate with one another.
Mediators are impartial, and must have no stake in the outcome of the process
When does mediation work?
One of the strengths of mediation is that people are able to solve their own difficulties. This works best when those in dispute are:
willing to take part
prepared to be as honest and open as they can about the situation and the part they have played in it
want to work cooperatively with the other person to find a solution
would like to continue to have a relationship in the future as neighbours, colleagues or family, for example
people feel safe and there is no threat of physical violence.
Mediation works less well when:
people feel coerced into taking part
they have no reason to work out a future relationship
there is a threat of physical violence
one party is very intimidating for the other
there is a need for a public/legal judgement.
Workplace and commercial mediation
In one recent survey, 32% of businesses wanted more information on mediation, and 54% said that their company would increase its use of mediation in the future. (Source - CEDR)
According to research published in September 2004, The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) found that Employers spent £2,630 per year settling issues out of tribunal; £649 on compensation awarded in tribunals; £3,021 on legal advice; and £1,750 recruiting replacements for those who left after a dispute. CIPD argue that those organisations that use mediation, or are training their managers in mediation and dispute resolution are seeing increased benefits and cost savings.
In a recent DTI report, the government has outlined plans for expanding the roles of mediation and conciliation within the workplace.
Advantages of Mediation
Reasonable Cost
Mediation is available to the parties at a reasonable fee that is generally cost effective.
Fair and Neutral
Parties have an equal say in the process and decide settlement terms, not the mediator. There is no determination of guilt or innocence in the process.
Saves Time and Money
Mediation usually occurs early in the charge process, and many mediations are completed in one meeting. Legal or other representation is optional but not required.
Confidential
All parties sign a confidentiality agreement. Information disclosed during mediation will not be revealed to anyone, including investigative or legal staff.
Avoids Litigation
Lengthy litigation CAN be avoided. Mediation costs less than a lawsuit and avoids the uncertainty of judicial outcome. Improves Communication.
Mediation provides a neutral and confidential setting where both parties can openly discuss their views on the underlying dispute. Enhanced communication can lead to mutually satisfactory resolutions. Discover the Real Issues.
Parties share information, which can lead to a better understanding of issues.
Design your own Solution
A neutral third party assists the parties in reaching a voluntary, mutually beneficial resolution. Mediation can resolve all issues important to the parties, not just the underlying legal dispute.
Everyone Wins
An independent survey showed 96% of all respondents and 91% of all charging parties who used mediation would use it again if offered.
Dispute Resolution Channel:
For a private and confidential discussion on the way forward, please call Colin Thompson:
